2022.
Anthony Barton

The Year of Intentions | The Discovery of Self Love | The Year of ‘Loss’

If we were found, would we still be able to discover new land on this voyage? If the seas were not rough, would we be able to navigate new terrain with ease? If the Gale Head winds soften would we have the endurance that feeds our vitality? 

The accomplishments were nothing short of incredible. Though mild and tame compared to the many that came before. The real strides that were achieved this year were the recollection of Philosophical Thought and perception of what it means to be an artist and; more importantly what it means to be Human. This was a year where I redefined love for myself, redefined what being intentional truly means, and a year of loss and deep reflection. I dropped out of the Status game and abandoned social media. Dropped out in trying to mimic other photographers. To emulate my work is no longer an option given the newfound techniques that truly matured on March 21st with a deep realization of how to manipulate light and faces. I now lead a quiet, solace, and more private life. Status no longer plagues the mind with illness.

 A question, a thought, “Those that look outward dream, those that look inward awake”. ”For how can you be loved if you are not Lovable?” as in how can we be lovable if we do not exude love from within? It’s time to awake.” Evolution of perception. Look inwards for love for then you will be able to accept love and then give love. Admittedly being the dreamer I am, this year I've woken up. Whether it was professionally -by demanding more- (though even that comes with a hand that still needs to be fed) or by loving thyself. How do we learn to adapt to accept? Accept to adapt. A paradox, a feedback loop.

The Loss

I lost my friend Andre Tado. The most vibrant Larger than life human one could know. Joyous and filled with life, he was Andre the Iconic. Soaring between the Manhattan skyscrapers, an infectious smile, and kindness that made you appreciate the subtleties of everyday life. You meant more to me than you’ll ever know. You gave me confidence, you provided friendship, and your time here was too short. The things we were meant to accomplish, until our next chapter my friend.. The page will turn and the story shall continue.  For our Ions shall be charged throughout the Eons.

Michael, a roommate of 3 and a half years from Brooklyn to Manhattan. He was my partner in crime, confidant, and muse.  Whether it was seeing him ‘clean up’  puke with Windex, testing new techniques in photography, or Breaking wine glasses as we danced to Adele haha. Many tears were shed when he moved on to Europe and beyond. He was always a guiding voice, wise, insightful, and ever so brilliant. Thank you for being you, Michael.

The Arts

The Primary artists that were studied this year had profound impacts on my understanding of artistic thought. The curational thoughts and intentions highlighted why New York City is the capital of the Art World. Happy to discuss more in person for enriched details. Take me up on it I’m a dial, email, or glass of wine away ♡

Vasily Kandinsky and Alex Katz both brought retrospectives of their careers. What it means to evolve as an artist - how an artist can shape their vision accordingly. Fascinatingly with the two of them, we saw art spanning from the early 1900s to the present day. Impressive to see Two masters hone their craft decade after decade. Focus, discipline, and patience are far more valuable than following trends. As we start approaching art projects on a lifetime timeframe it gives you the ability to flush out the philosophical meanings, the technique required, and the proper acquisitions to assist in realizing your mission.

Cecilia Vicuña educated us on the philosophical meanings of life on the deepest levels. The extermination of the species, of thought, perception of understanding is too, the extermination of species. This in turn inspired me to spend days up north in cold springs. I listened to nature, the humming of the birds, and the insects, jumping from one tree to the next only to be followed by the wind. Like a conductor and their Baton -the orchestra follows suit. Seeing the old fighting off the new, with trees eroding and the humans possessing a blind eye. The destruction we have brought upon this planet. We are losing the wisdom of Nature yet we do not even acknowledge it.. 

Within Eva Hesse’s Expanding Expansion you could visibly see the decaying sculpture stiffen, changing colours, and responding to gravity. The thought is being lost from the prior generation as Cecilia showcased 2 floors below as her sculpture too, was responding to gravity. This curation was so deep in thought if you took the time to earn the linkage. Eva transcended through her art and extended her life well past May 29th, 1970 prior to being lost. 

Bernd & Hilla Becher taught me about unification and simplicity. A lens, overcast, and precision. Louise Bourgeois on the tragedy of life, through words, dreams, and paintings, alas. Winslow Homer reignited my love for the sea- Deeply. 

Exonemo had the most well-thought-out and compelling gallery exhibition of 2022, with his Metaverse Petshop. This was the only use case where I thought NFTs were used appropriately and engagingly. He was able to Mix the Physical, and the Digital, all while interwinding the Philosophical. 

In 2022 I had the honor to do a curation at Space Gallery. It was lovely curation, showcasing Nature, Nudes, and Still Life. Working at Space greatly advanced my understanding on what a collection is. Thank you Natalie and Caitlin for this opportunity. This paired with going to the Guggenheim over ~40 times along with going to The Met over 25 times advanced my understanding of art - profoundly.

 The Discovery of Self-Love 

The hardships this year presented. When my contract ended at Space gallery  -though in fairness, going from a Monthly Stipend to a Daily rate (was never going to be favorable to me). I had very few options on what I could actually do or negotiate. Searching for myself I wanted to flee New York City. Beaten and wounded, defeated in life and possessing little self-confidence. The Lesson: Procrastination, and Self Denial, are never ideal, though; to be in the present, now- requires a level of grounding that most are not willing to admit nor own up to. It’s time to take responsibility. 

There were three things I could control with eroding mental health. With debt building and liquid funds diminishing, I held out for 5-6 months in finding the correct employment. This meant sacrificing having any kind of social life, love life, and creative self-produced endeavors. In turn, I felt that I had failed as an artist. It got so severe I sold my polyphonic synth and one of my cameras.  Alas, This still shatters my soul as I read this.  The two other things I could control were healthy eating and excessive exercise. For everything else was in decline. Multiple breakdowns, suffocations of life, of will, and no sense of duty- These were some of the darkest periods of my life. 

A recollection of a stormy day on the upper west side awakening at noon, paralyzed, choking for air, such depression my mental wellness was in great decline. My speech slurred as if I needed another 13 years of speech therapy. My thoughts were riddled with an infection of self-doubt, and uncertainty. My equilibrium, my ballast tank was corroded internally. I thought this was the year of finding love.. oh how nature is a whore, what’s more inducing than fucking yourself? -what can I say, I liked my Cigarettes Rolled.

Through perseverance and saying no- I committed to these 3 areas of life that I could control, Employment, Eating habits, and Exorcise . 11 interviews later, I landed a job at the New York Times after being denied initially. Ironically this was the one job I thought I would not land. My initial interview with Jordan Leeds I took when I was leaving the Guggenheim (Oh how predictable). He too was not in an office and was outside. He told me- “There’s something about you, you're different…” Yeah Jordan, I have a revulsion towards my time being wasted. The Lesson Define your standards, and relax- it’s a popularity contest on who can do the job the best. If you incorporate fun you will not only gain a competitive advantage over everyone else but will also be favorably remembered.

The discovery of self-love started with healthy food and exercise. From there it evolved with the deletion of Instagram -even at the cost of abandoning half of my New York network. 

“Hey, What’s your Instagram?” Looks down, smirks, looks up- I’m not on Instagram… (How to play the Status Game; W/o playing the Status Game.) Rook to G 7 Check, -your move.

Fomo doesn’t exist if you don’t know about Fomo. Get it?

The Year of intentions 

To sum up the metamorphic year. I’ve decided to lead an anti-algorithmic life. Finding the love of your life not based on data but of thought, humanity, and intentions.Quite an endearing thought, welcome it. Discovering the best coffee shop will not come from tik tok. Finding the perfect skin routine is not based on some influencer with a different ethnicity and sponsored products. A life of reaching for likes, views, or analytics likely isn’t going to make you self-actualize. For the satisfaction of today is not nearly as great as the glorification of tomorrow. Being intentional is a smile, seeing someone struggling and assisting, giving your spot up on the subway, interacting, and picking up others even if you are beaten down. An intention: an idea that you plan (or intend) to carry out. I plan and intend to brighten other people's days, regardless of whether I know them- What is more rewarding than a smile, - a good laugh.

Without nourishment what is connection, 
Without nourishment what is love,
-A one-night stand a possible seasonal fling? 
Perhaps a divorce looming in the shadows?
Without opportunity what is Status 
What is status without an audience- 
Stagnation is such a bitch- isn’t it?
You claim to desire progression,
Even at the rate of being left behind? Unlikely.
Love with intentions, an idea, in bloom.

The top 15 artists that had the most profound effects on me this year and why:

Vasily Kandinsky - Progression of artistry, Color usage, and Mastery

Alex Katz - Progression of artistry, Mastery, and Capturing Light

Cecilia Vicuña- Philosophical intents

Eva Hesse -Progression of life through art. On how art evolves over time.

Winslow Homer - Mastery 

Bernd & Hilla Becher - Simplicity and Unification. -This power couple or Winslow, likely had the most profound effect on me

Exonemo - Philosophical intents

Hugh Arnold- Model Contract insights

Gillian wearing - Curation of pieces and use of different mediums

Etel Adnan - Poetry 

Mengfan Bai - impressionism 

Mitsuyo Okada - Capturing Light 

Pablo Picasso - Eyes

Harumi Ori - Eliminating complexities 

Oscar Oiwa - bending perspectives

Miles Ran this Year 1,234
Pace 8:09
Runs 143
Time 167:56:53

Top Genres
Classical Performance
Rock
Rap
Classical
Art Pop

Top Songs
Merci by Stromae
дорогой человек by Permsky Kray
Creep by Radiohead
Headshots by Isaiah Rashad
I’m your by Man Lenard Cohen

Commissioned films made in 2022: 5
Personal Films started/Made in 2022: 6

Some Poetry Reads written in 2022 Here
New photographic projects started in 2022: ~9 (not including commissioned works)

Official Jobs in 2022, NYT | Space Gallery | Freelance Photographer/Filmmaker

The Anti-Year of Photography. All rights to reserve © Anthony Barton

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